Buck Simian
06-22-2017, 12:34 AM
Ok, that wasn't his real name. Actually it was a nigger named Pierre. One of those fancy French niggers. Pierre worked with me many years ago. Not where I work now which is filled with niggers. This was a different company which kept the nigger hiring to a minimum. But every place has to bring in a handful of coons just for a laugh. Well Pierre was running a punch press one day. I did not work in this department, but for some reason or another I just so happened to be walking through the area. Next thing I know I see Pierre spinning around in circles, screaming, runs a few feet then drops over. My first thought-I honestly thought he was break dancing. He had a radio beside of him playing rap music very loud so i really did think he was doing some dance. I walked over to the press where he was at and looked down at blood everywhere. And these odd looking worm shaped things on the floor. They were his fingers! This was a older machine-outdated technology just like niggers. It used these safety straps called pull backs which yanked your hands back if they were in the press as it was cycling. Well good old Pierre didn't want to wear those and got his paw chopped up. By this time he had fainted. I get all queasy and start vomiting all over the place and almost faint myself. I had to sit down.
Pierre lost three fingers that day, but good news! The doctors were able to reattach his index finger. So now we have this nigger with a hand like this:
1312
Am I going to go to Hell for laughing?
Regardless, some time later we have a big safety meeting. The company is overhauling all of the machinery with new safety equipment. Blah blah blah type stuff. They hand out this pamplet with a large picture of Pierre's hand on it and all of this safety info. Kind of a scared straight thing. I am standing next to a close buddy of mine. He looks over at me while holding up the picture and says Wow! Its Ronnie James Dio! I fucking lost it right in this meeting. Could not stop laughing. This was the closest I ever came to getting fired without getting fired. After that day whenever we talked about him we called him Dio. It spread all around the plant and from that moment on people would say things like "be careful, don't Dio yourself".
1314
From what I heard not long afterwards Pierre aka Dio won a major lawsuit against he company. I don't know the exact amount but somewhere to the tune of six figures. He pulled up one day to show us all his new Corvette. I knew one damn thing about that car, it wasn't a stick shift.
Fast forward to present day. Several weeks ago I ran into my buddy. I don't get to see him that often anymore. He is working as a auto mechanic somewhere now. He told me he saw Dio a while back. I had totally forgotten about Ronnie James Dio passing away and thus my response was I wish I had known he was in town, I haven't been to a concert in years. He starts laughing and says no......the other Dio, you know, DIO! And then he does the hand symbol. Once again I lost it. He told me that Dio came into the auto shop he was working at and was no longer driving that nice Corvette. Instead he had a old ragged out mercury sable. The nigger couldn't afford to get it fixed either. So apparently in typical nigger style all of that money he got from playing the nigger lotto he had blown a long time ago.
I hope this wasn't long and boring. I guess its just one of those you had to have been there things to get it. Somewhere though there is a nigger missing two fingers named after a rock star.
Pierre lost three fingers that day, but good news! The doctors were able to reattach his index finger. So now we have this nigger with a hand like this:
1312
Am I going to go to Hell for laughing?
Regardless, some time later we have a big safety meeting. The company is overhauling all of the machinery with new safety equipment. Blah blah blah type stuff. They hand out this pamplet with a large picture of Pierre's hand on it and all of this safety info. Kind of a scared straight thing. I am standing next to a close buddy of mine. He looks over at me while holding up the picture and says Wow! Its Ronnie James Dio! I fucking lost it right in this meeting. Could not stop laughing. This was the closest I ever came to getting fired without getting fired. After that day whenever we talked about him we called him Dio. It spread all around the plant and from that moment on people would say things like "be careful, don't Dio yourself".
1314
From what I heard not long afterwards Pierre aka Dio won a major lawsuit against he company. I don't know the exact amount but somewhere to the tune of six figures. He pulled up one day to show us all his new Corvette. I knew one damn thing about that car, it wasn't a stick shift.
Fast forward to present day. Several weeks ago I ran into my buddy. I don't get to see him that often anymore. He is working as a auto mechanic somewhere now. He told me he saw Dio a while back. I had totally forgotten about Ronnie James Dio passing away and thus my response was I wish I had known he was in town, I haven't been to a concert in years. He starts laughing and says no......the other Dio, you know, DIO! And then he does the hand symbol. Once again I lost it. He told me that Dio came into the auto shop he was working at and was no longer driving that nice Corvette. Instead he had a old ragged out mercury sable. The nigger couldn't afford to get it fixed either. So apparently in typical nigger style all of that money he got from playing the nigger lotto he had blown a long time ago.
I hope this wasn't long and boring. I guess its just one of those you had to have been there things to get it. Somewhere though there is a nigger missing two fingers named after a rock star.