Monkeybash
06-13-2017, 08:51 PM
Oldie but goodie, found this among my Word docs after someone mentioned it in SB. :lol
Somalia
Location: Northeastern Africa
Capital: Mogadishu...I think
Form of Government: None (since 1991, when government collapsed)
Population: 9,558,666 (estimate; no one's really sure)
Life expectancy: 49 years
GDP (Total): $5.26 billion (estimated; could be anything, really)
GDP Per Capita: $600? Yeah...that sounds about right
Main Industries: Are you fucking serious?
Somalia is what any land run by niggers will end up becoming: total anarchy. This nation on the Horn of Africa, close to important sea shipping lanes, has been without a functioning government since 1991. Although, it's hard to believe that any of the niggers noticed that anything had changed at all.
The capital of Mogadishu was founded in 900 AD. However, Somalia as we know it today wouldn't be a single, unified state for many more centuries (not that it is now, anyway). The Somali niggers traded with the Greeks and Romans around the first century; we can only guess as to what they traded (probably drugs, whores and slaves). By the 13th century Islam had established itself and brought some semblance of order to otherwise feral apes. The first dictionaries of the Somali language didn't appear until 1976 (!!!).
In the late 19th century, the British and Italians, apparently feeling suicidal, decided to colonize this shithole, establishing British Somaliland and Italian Somaliland.On July 1, 1960, Somalia was unified and granted its independence, and humans could sit back and laugh at the chimpouts that were sure to follow. General Siad Barre became dictator in 1969, and remained in power until his overthrow in 1991, having become the Somali Republic's ONLY recognized head of state. Ever. He aligned Somalia with the Soviet Union, which threw nigger Barre a few crumbs here and there.
In the late 1970s, Ethiopia and Somalia fought over Ethiopia's barren Ogaden region. Why, who the fuck knows or cares. In any case, both nations were Commie-ruled at that time, but the Soviet Bloc put their money on Ethiopia. This was probably one of the saddest wars in history. To really understand what a war between Ethiopia and Somalia was like, picture two homeless niggers engaging in a drunken fistfight over a two-day-old piece of fried chicken. In the end, the Somalis got pwned by the Ethiopians. Or rather, by the Ethiopians' Soviet and Cuban-supplied weapons. Funny how the Ethiopians and Somalis both had money for guns and tanks, but no money for food. Hmmmm
In 1991, the Somali niggers finally overthrew Siad Barre. Tribal warlords immediately began fighting for control of the country, with millions of niggers caught in the middle, starving to death. The UN sent some troops, including American troops, to try to restore order. The 'humanitarian' operation worked really well, if by "well" you mean that American soldiers were butchered and their corpses dragged through the streets of Mogadishu. The US government came to its senses and pulled all US troops out. The UN got the hell out of dodge in 1995, leaving the niggers to kill each other.
Since then, an interim government has been established, but it's not recognized by most of Somalia's niggers. Ethiopia sent troops into Somalia in 2006 (some niggers never learn, apparently). In recent years, the danger of sailing anywhere near Somalia's coast has been highlighted by frequent hijackings of ships by Somali nigger pirates, who upon boarding the ships, have been heard to say: "YARRRH, MATEY, GIBS ME ALL YO CRACK AND CHIKKINS RITE NOW, MOFFUGGAH!!". The international community continues avoiding the only solution to the Somalia Problem: nuclear annihilation.
In conclusion, Somalia is what every nigger country could very well end up becoming: a hellhole so depraved and debauched that no one can be sure how many apes even live there because no one's been able to take a census since 1975. A country so torn it has 3 or 4 different governments. A place so fucked up the mighty US military couldn't begin to figure it out. A so-called "nation" that makes Ethiopia seem like a pretty good place by comparison. If Somalia ever has a functioning government again, maybe it should change the country's name to 'TNB'.
Somalia
Location: Northeastern Africa
Capital: Mogadishu...I think
Form of Government: None (since 1991, when government collapsed)
Population: 9,558,666 (estimate; no one's really sure)
Life expectancy: 49 years
GDP (Total): $5.26 billion (estimated; could be anything, really)
GDP Per Capita: $600? Yeah...that sounds about right
Main Industries: Are you fucking serious?
Somalia is what any land run by niggers will end up becoming: total anarchy. This nation on the Horn of Africa, close to important sea shipping lanes, has been without a functioning government since 1991. Although, it's hard to believe that any of the niggers noticed that anything had changed at all.
The capital of Mogadishu was founded in 900 AD. However, Somalia as we know it today wouldn't be a single, unified state for many more centuries (not that it is now, anyway). The Somali niggers traded with the Greeks and Romans around the first century; we can only guess as to what they traded (probably drugs, whores and slaves). By the 13th century Islam had established itself and brought some semblance of order to otherwise feral apes. The first dictionaries of the Somali language didn't appear until 1976 (!!!).
In the late 19th century, the British and Italians, apparently feeling suicidal, decided to colonize this shithole, establishing British Somaliland and Italian Somaliland.On July 1, 1960, Somalia was unified and granted its independence, and humans could sit back and laugh at the chimpouts that were sure to follow. General Siad Barre became dictator in 1969, and remained in power until his overthrow in 1991, having become the Somali Republic's ONLY recognized head of state. Ever. He aligned Somalia with the Soviet Union, which threw nigger Barre a few crumbs here and there.
In the late 1970s, Ethiopia and Somalia fought over Ethiopia's barren Ogaden region. Why, who the fuck knows or cares. In any case, both nations were Commie-ruled at that time, but the Soviet Bloc put their money on Ethiopia. This was probably one of the saddest wars in history. To really understand what a war between Ethiopia and Somalia was like, picture two homeless niggers engaging in a drunken fistfight over a two-day-old piece of fried chicken. In the end, the Somalis got pwned by the Ethiopians. Or rather, by the Ethiopians' Soviet and Cuban-supplied weapons. Funny how the Ethiopians and Somalis both had money for guns and tanks, but no money for food. Hmmmm
In 1991, the Somali niggers finally overthrew Siad Barre. Tribal warlords immediately began fighting for control of the country, with millions of niggers caught in the middle, starving to death. The UN sent some troops, including American troops, to try to restore order. The 'humanitarian' operation worked really well, if by "well" you mean that American soldiers were butchered and their corpses dragged through the streets of Mogadishu. The US government came to its senses and pulled all US troops out. The UN got the hell out of dodge in 1995, leaving the niggers to kill each other.
Since then, an interim government has been established, but it's not recognized by most of Somalia's niggers. Ethiopia sent troops into Somalia in 2006 (some niggers never learn, apparently). In recent years, the danger of sailing anywhere near Somalia's coast has been highlighted by frequent hijackings of ships by Somali nigger pirates, who upon boarding the ships, have been heard to say: "YARRRH, MATEY, GIBS ME ALL YO CRACK AND CHIKKINS RITE NOW, MOFFUGGAH!!". The international community continues avoiding the only solution to the Somalia Problem: nuclear annihilation.
In conclusion, Somalia is what every nigger country could very well end up becoming: a hellhole so depraved and debauched that no one can be sure how many apes even live there because no one's been able to take a census since 1975. A country so torn it has 3 or 4 different governments. A place so fucked up the mighty US military couldn't begin to figure it out. A so-called "nation" that makes Ethiopia seem like a pretty good place by comparison. If Somalia ever has a functioning government again, maybe it should change the country's name to 'TNB'.